8th December 2011

In 2001, I had a website. It was pretty rudimentary but I was probably the only person my friends knew who had a website of their own. I did blogging before blogging existed, and started the Advent Calendar when most companies didn't even have a web presence. Why am I reminiscing like this? Because my favourite page on my website was called Bad Place Jokes. And what do we love to get in crackers? Really Bad Jokes. So here it is ... from 10 years ago ...

B A D   P L A C E   J O K E S

NOT BY ADAM CREEN

- - - -

My wife's gone to the West Indies

Jamaica?

No, she went of her own accord.

My wife's gone to Northern Italy

Genoa?

I should think so, we've been married for 20 years.

My wife's had an accident on a volcano

Krakatoa?

No. She broke her leg.

My wife's gone mad in Venezuela

Caracas?

Yes, absolutely loopy

My wife's gone to the botanical gardens

Kew?

Yes, it was rather busy.

My wife's gone to Malawi

Lilongwe?

Yes, about 5000 miles

My wife's got an upset tummy in Laos

Inkhazi?

Yes, constantly.

My wife's gone to see relatives in France

Nice?

Yes, and her cousin

My wife's gone on a singing tour of South Korea

Seoul?

No, R&B

My wife caught a cold in the Gulf

Qatar?

Yes, she was coughing up phlegm for weeks

My wife went to a very bad concert in South East Asia

Singapore?

Yes, but the drummer is fantastic.

My wife's just been on a day trip to Poole

In Dorset?

Yes, she'd recommend it to anyone.

I sent my wife to the East Indies

Jakarta?

No, I sent her on a plane.

My wife's gone to Cyprus

Nicosia?

No, she's taken them with her.

I sent my wife to Illinois

Chicago?

No, as a passenger.