The Laboratory

Only 2 shopping days to Christmas, so if you are short of ideas, here are Sarah and Adam's top tips for last minute gifts: Circus tent toy teaset, H&M Home, with charity donation to Save The Children Scented jigsaws, The Works Flatpack moose, IKEA Sushi Jenga, Tiger Spectacular bins, Asda (thanks to Dave for this one)

 Sorry it's only taken 6 days to get behind with this calendar, we'll try and keep it up to date from now on... There's a trend this year for terrible Christmas-themed food. Already Terry's have teamed up with Heinz to make Chocolate Orange flavoured mayonnaise.  For every tasty Greggs' Festive Slice or delicious Pret Christmas Dinner Sandwich, you have to put up with a monstrosity like this from Itsu:

Saturday Gift Guide Well, all the colour supplements are doing it, so why shouldn't we? Here are our top gift picks. FOR HIM Make sure your man gets properly clean in the shower by buying him a ManWasher.  Just tell him it's definitely not a sponge. It comes with comedy instructions. FOR HER Watch her eyes light up when she opens this set of fruit-shaped Matryoshka. And then listen to her gasp when you tell her it cost £275. FOR THE FAMILY Enjoy a new twist on an old game with the Primark version of Monopoly. Charge rent on socks, and try to collect all four changing rooms. Let us know if you see any other naff (sorry, naff? we didn't mean that!) gifts we can feature next Saturday!

The last in our Saturday series of presents you would prefer to re-gift before unwrapping them! We found these in our new Poundland Christmas Store, a shop so cheap it makes Woolworths look upmarket. Pet gifts are always a treat (who can forget the cat cracker of a few years ago) and any dog would surely look 'adorable' in a Santa cape. Tenuous movie tie-in household cleaning products are hard to come by, so hopefully the HSM3 kitchen roll will encourage the youth of today to mop up any spills of Sunny D they make. And the mini Henry will vacuum your keyboard for you, powered by only 2 AA batteries. And so easy to clean! Fortunately none of these are the prize in our competition!

If it's Saturday then it's naff presents time. Which would you most like to wake up to on Christmas morning? A patriotic flag with gold finial detail, a pet nail trimmer ("impossible to find in the shops"), or for the man in your life, a life-size cello wine holder, "carefully cast from polyresin". So are you a racist, a Crufts fanatic, or just blind to good taste and decorum?

VOTE for your favourite naff present! Will it be (a) the high-heeled shoe full of creamy liqueur (b) the multi-blade scissors to protect against identity theft (c) the genuine home-grown patch of Wembley turf? Let us know your comments.